On a scale of 1 – 5, with 5 being the highest recommendation…
- 5 - Buy It – You’ll want to own it and watch it over and over again for many years to come.
See this movie immediately, in theaters, if possible. An awesome experience, a great movie, perhaps worthy of an award or two somewhere down the line. Tell all your friends to see it. It’s THAT good.
- 4 – Watch It – See it in the theater; definitely worth the price of admission.
Fun, entertaining, worth the nine bucks, but it ain’t gonna win any awards, that’s for sure.
- 3 – Rent It – Wait until it’s out in rental stores.
Worth a rental, or catch it in the dollar theater. Not a bad way to spend an evening.
- 2 – Avoid It – Steer clear if you can; not worth your time.
If it happens to be on, or if someone pays you to watch it, sure, why not? Afterwards, you may regret losing two hours of your life watching this movie, but, hey, you were warned.
- 1 – Destroy It – You’ll wonder why it was made; it probably shouldn’t have been made.
Avoid this movie at all costs. Tell all your friends to avoid it. Even if they pay you to see it, don’t. Destroy any copies of the movie you happen upon.
For the record, here are the movies I’ve reviewed over the past several months (with links to the original reviews) and the scores I would’ve given them.
Balls Of Fury – 4
28 Weeks Later - 4
Beowulf - 3
I’m going to try to avoid assigning half-points, as that seems kind of lame to me.
Later on, I may add a score prediction for movies that have yet to release. AVP: Requiem, for instance, will probably score a 3 when it debuts.